Disclaimer: Anything in this saga belongs to the author for each chapter. Anything that had preexisted belongs to their respective owners. ------------------------------------------------------------- Ginga GIRI GIRI! The Universe is in Danger! Chapter 10 by SSJ Heero ------------------------------------------------------------- ---- Recap ---- TM: Hey! Welcome back to GINGA GIRI GIRI! SSJ: Don't I usually start the chapter? Oh well... Anyway last time on GGG, we went to search for Rantmon! Amiko: But before we could, Gene and co. delayed us. TM: And once we left to continue our search... Gene: The cops caught on to us. Squall: WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?! SSJ: Let's just start the chapter... ---- Chapter 10: Final Fantasy Crossover Special! ---- SSJ: I feel nauseous... Amiko: Shut up! TM: Hey, why don't we actually fight our battles instead of relying on our bishoujo? SSJ: ...Uhm... Well... ...We just forgot how. (Everyone sweatdrops.) Gene: That was one of the stupidest reasons I ever heard. Amiko: Same here. SSJ: Hey! I'm writing this fic! I can manipulate your actions! Gene: I don't think so! (Gene points his gun towards SSJ.) SSJ: Oh, but I can. (Gene punches himself.) Gene: Dammit! What the? SSJ: Told ya. (Gene punches himself again.) Gene: Okay! Okay, I give up! SSJ: Good. (-- Let's continue with this --) (Ragnarok and Outlaw Star tumbles through space, eventually getting caught in a planet's gravitational force and falling.) SSJ: (@_@) Urg... Nausea rising... TM: (through monitor) Oh, GOD NO, SSJ! NOT ON THE RAGNAROK! (SSJ vomits out of the side of the Ragnarok. The vomit burns and explodes in the atmosphere.) Amiko: Whoa... Exploding vomit... Now I've seen everything. Gene: (O_O) What a strange kid... SSJ: I think... I'm okay now... (Both ships crash on the Planet.) :: Somewhere... :: SSJ: (Waking up in a jail cell) Where the hell are we? Amiko: Wha? (Regains full consciousness) WHAT? WHO THE HELL IMPRISONED US?! TM: At least our bishies are with us... :: An Hour Later :: TM: Nothing has happened in the last f**king hour, where the hell is everyone? SSJ: Damn, I may break into song if my boredom stretches on. Amiko: Don't even think of it. ---- SSJ'S First Image Song! (AGH!) ---- F**k this sucks, There's nothing here. I feel like I will kill The next thing I hear. There's nothing to do, And nothing to kill, Except these two freaks- (Amiko: HEY!) And a that friggin dead rat. ~ Chorus ~ I need something to kill! I need something to insult! I'll go insane if I go on without a fight! (TM: Too late, there.) I need something to attack, something to annihilate. But there is nothing in this f**king hellhole. ~ I'll jump off a cliff, I'll destroy New York, I'll do anything to get me racking up kills. I'll do it for fun, I'll do it for sport, Just get me out of this f**king caged room. I'll change my opinion, change my assumption, Just free me from this boring redemption. I'll follow Lucifer, I'll follow the great God, Just destroy this cage and free me and pay me. ~Insert Chorus~ I'll curse and I'll cleanse myself, Just free me from the claustrophobic room. I'll test those bars to see if they're strong, Better than sitting here and singing a song. (Amiko: Hypocrite!) (I go over to a bar.) Will you just free me from this friggin hell, I'll- (Door was open the whole time, making SSJ, TM, and Amiko facefault.) ---- End Song! (BWA HAHAHAHAHA!) ---- SSJ: What a waste of time... TM: And vocal cords... Amiko: Must cleanse self soon... :: Wandering :: SSJ: Could you ever think there was a hot spring in the middle of an industrial craphole? Amiko: I feel cleansed! Let's find a way out, Hee-chan! (Hee-chan appears, causing Gene to be a *LITTLE* jealous.) Gene: WHY THE F**K DO YOU SUMMON YUY?! I CAN FIND MYSELF OUTTA THIS PLACE FASTER THAN THAT GUY CAN WHIP OUT HIS GUN! Heero: Shu'up. I have the explosives. Voice: STOP RIGHT THERE! SSJ: What's with the damned "voices"? TM: They always seem to be bishounen. SSJ: Okay, we'll turn around and we'll see- Amiko: CLOUDIE!! (Cloud, Tifa, Aeris, and Yuffie stood behind us.) SSJ: (Slapping forehead) Figured. TM: Not more bishounen... (Amiko runs over and glomps Cloud. TM notices Tifa.) TM: Hey... Tifa still looks as hot as I remember her. (SSJ grabs TM's shirt.) SSJ: You ain't running over and hanging on Tifa like Amiko and Cloud. TM: Aww, c'mon! Ya gotta let me at her! Tifa: What? HENTAI! SSJ: Suit yourself, then... (SSJ lets TM go and he runs towards Tifa, who quickly gives him a punch and he goes flying.) SSJ: Didn't you figure that part out? (Later, we somehow get Amiko off of Cloud. We are lined up facing each other's party.) Cloud: What the hell are you kids doing here? SSJ: Just ignore us, we are just on our way out. (SSJ turns around to crash into Proud Clod's leg. A pain ensues.) Scarlet: (Blocking our path) Hah, you actually thought so? SSJ: AGH! Damn! Eh? (Looks up) Yes... Dammit. Scarlet: You aren't escaping Midgar! Rantmon gave us specific instructions to kill you. SSJ: (¬_¬) Oh... Rantmon again. Why the hell is he annoying us? Scarlet: Hell kid. If I knew, I'd exploit that knowledge, but I don't, so you can die and I can take over the world and save it from Sephiroth, then I can rule the world as its savior, and I will then defeat Cloud for defiling my army, for which are now weak... (Scarlet then passed out, the victim of the dreaded run-on sentence. The group blinks.) SSJ: (-_-) So stupid... TM: (-_-) I was expecting a dramatic battle. Amiko: Then you are an idiot! This IS written by SSJ! It has to be crappy! SSJ: Hey! Amiko: But never mind you SSJ! Okay now... Cloud! You're mine! (Amiko turns around and sees Tifa, Aeris, and Yuffie in a line and ready for battle.) Amiko: I WILL WIN! I am victorious! (An hour later, Amiko wakes up outside of Midgar, badly bruised and stuff... Her bishounen, Heero, was returned to his bishie ball.) Amiko: What happened? SSJ: Tifa really kicked your ass. TM: So did Aeris and Yuffie. Amiko: Crap. I have to capture Cloud a different way. You two MUST capture Aeris and Tifa- SSJ: Can't forget Yuffie. Amiko: -First. Yea, I know. TM: Okay! Let- Amiko: LET'S GO! TM: (sweatdrop) I was going to say that. Amiko: Too bad! :: Crater :: Amiko: How do you know Cloudie is here? SSJ: I *DID* beat FF7 over twenty times! (Whispering to Amiko) In one week too! (Amiko blinks.) Amiko: You are one psychopathic... SSJ: Look who's talking. (We began our descent into the center. We hide behind rocks whenever we are in sight of the party.) SSJ: So it's a party of Cloud, Tifa, and Yuffie... TM: Where's Aeris? She didn't- DIE?! SSJ: Don't you pay attention? She DID die in the story- TM: DAMN! SSJ: -But she's right over there. Someone screwed up when building a planet. Either that, or this is the Japanese FF7. Amiko: It doesn't matter! We get Aeris first! (We jump off and land in front of Aeris.) Aeris: It's you again? Amiko: Damn straight! (Screen blurs and spirals. The screen changes to a battle between Aeris and our group. The FF7 battle music plays in the background as we attack.) Amiko: Take THIS! (Amiko summons Kamui, who prepares his sword.) SSJ: We don't need to actually *KILL* Aeris... (SSJ summons Quistis.) SSJ: But why not we just make it not so bloody? (Quistis takes out a nine tails whip and runs after Aeris, whipping her during the chase.) Quistis: Take THAT! (Crack) Take THIS pacifist! (Crack) I will enjoy this! (Crack) MWA HAHAHA HAHAHA! TM: (sweatdrop) It seems you've tainted Quistis... Aeris: AHH! (Crack) SSJ: It seems so... (Aeris runs toward SSJ, who quickly captures her.) SSJ: That was easy. Amiko: But lame and pointless. SSJ: It would've been the same with you and Kamui. (Kamui and Quistis are returned.) Amiko: Next is... SSJ: Either Tifa or Yuffie. (We follow Cloud's party, and see them stop at a crossroad.) Amiko: Okay! They've stopped. How can we capture one of them? (SSJ pulls a huge bishie ball canon out of hammerspace.) Amiko: (O_O) What the f**k? Where'd you get that? Besides, I thought only females could control hammerspace! SSJ: (shrugs) Don't ask me. TM: So, *THAT'S* WHERE ALL OUR MONEY WENT! SSJ: Guess so... (SSJ aims and locks onto Yuffie. TM sneezes, which temporarily distracts SSJ while he was pulling the trigger. He misses, but alert Cloud and co. with the bishie ball hitting and destroying a wall. SSJ glares at TM, who whistles innocently.) Cloud: They're up there! SSJ: Shit. (Cloud jumps up and cleaves the rock that was giving us cover. The rock splits into two, each piece falling into the Mako. SSJ launches one at Yuffie, who is quickly captured. The bishie-ball returns to SSJ, who quickly pockets it.) SSJ: Yea! (Cloud slashes the bishie-ball launcher, which then becomes unusable.) SSJ: Oh well, it's TM's money. TM: SSSSHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTT! Amiko: Too many people screaming "shit" now... (Amiko jumps off and lands in front of Tifa.) Amiko: Die, hag! (Amiko and Tifa get into battle.) Amiko: Cloud is MINE! Tifa: NO! He's mine! (Tifa engages in her combo of punches, kicks, flips, and spins, which really puts the hurt on Amiko.) Amiko: Eh... Damn, she's strong... Shit! (TM and SSJ jumps down and land next to Amiko. Cloud follows, but lands next to Tifa.) Cloud: Take this! (Cloud slashes SSJ, which causes extreme pain. Tifa does a number of attacks on TM, who quickly falters.) SSJ: I didn't want to do this... Amiko: This isn't even dramatic! SSJ: What the hell... Get away! TM: What? Amiko: Hah! You expect me to escape from YOU?! HAH- Ow... Rib hurts. SSJ: AIM RUNNINGMEN ATTACK! Amiko: What? TM: What the fuck? (A giant army of AIM Runningmen appears in the horizon.) Amiko: Oh SHIT! TM: AGH! (Amiko and TM escape, dragging SSJ along with them. SSJ subsequently is cut up by rocks and sharp pointy stuff.) SSJ: Ouch! Agh! BE CAREFUL! Agh! That hurts! (The runningmen ram into Tifa and Cloud, causing "9999" to flare up whenever they are hit.) Tifa: Ouch! No! Cloud: Damn! Ah! THE PAIN! (Tifa and Cloud quickly faint. SSJ and co. return.) SSJ: Yes! I get to catch Tifa! (TM punches SSJ out of the way.) TM: No, I get Tifa! (We push each other and begin a fistfight over Tifa.) SSJ: (stopping) Hey wait... Weren't we injured a minute ago? TM: (stopping) Oh yea... SSJ: Oh what the hell. TM: Take THIS! (We continue to fight.) Amiko: I hope to join me, Cloudie! Cloud: Uh... Yea... But... My shoulder... Dislocated... My leg... Broken... My hair... GOD, NO! MY HAIR! Wait, it's okay... Amiko: Say no more! (Amiko magically heals Cloud while in her "Nurse Joy" state.) Cloud: (Hugging Amiko) Thank you! Amiko: (^_^) Yea! ANOTHER Voice: Did you think you'd get off THAT easily? SSJ: Great, ANOTHER voice? TM: This is getting predictable. SSJ: You just take Tifa, I'll see this "voice". TM: That's two in one day! Whatta deal! (Everyone facefaults.) SSJ: Baka... Amiko: Yaoro... (SSJ picks himself off the ground and look around the crater. Nothing was found, so he shrugs and turn around. While walking, he trips over a rock and fall, barely dodging a flying disk that hit the space my head used to be.) Voice: Dammit, Amarant! You friggin' missed! SSJ: Amarant? (Gets up) Then Zidane is here! Zidane: Shit, he found out. Amarant: Idiot... Garnet: Now we have to kill them. Steiner: For Rantmon! (SSJ sweatdrops.) SSJ: Uhh... Yea... (The entire FF9 group chases after SSJ.) SSJ: Oh shit... (SSJ runs, jumps, ducks, and rolls to escape the onslaught of the attacks. He jumps to avoid Freya's spear, ducks to avoid Amarant's thrown items, and dodges Steiner's sword, Vivi, Garnet, and Eiko's magic, Quena's fork, and Zidane's weapon.) TM: What the hell is SSJ doing? Amiko: Is he being chased by Vivi of FF9? (TM and Amiko look at each other. They laugh at the thought.) TM: SSJ? Being chased by a nine year old?! HAHAHA! Amiko: Or six-year-old Eiko? You've gotta be kidding! SSJ: Well, I'd be laughing too... BUT THEY'RE REALLY OUT TO KILL ME! Amiko: Oh, so this is serious. TM: Shit. SSJ: Crap... I don't know how to fight them... Amiko: Just use your friggin AIM Runningmen Attack! SSJ: Sorry, it's only one per chapter or else that'd be too unfair. Amiko: Says WHO? SSJ: (Whispering) The Writer's Guild of America. Amiko: (Snapping) Damn them. TM: Uhh... Little help here? (Amiko and SSJ turns around to see Zidane holding TM's arms and Steiner holding his legs, while Vivi burns TM and Amarant kicks him.) TM: ACK! OUCH! THAT HURTS... Oh wait, it doesn't... Thank you for making me stronger, bishoujo! (Amiko and SSJ facefault.) SSJ: It seems he doesn't need any help. Amiko: Let's just capture the bishounen. (Amiko quickly throws bishie balls to capture Zidane and Vivi, while SSJ catches Dagger and shoves her bishie ball into TM's pocket. SSJ drags TM out and flip off the rest of the FF9 crew.) SSJ: We'll see ya later! (He throws a smoke bomb at the ground. When the smoke clears, we are still there.) SSJ: So, how do those friggin' smoke things work? TM: Never mind! (Gets up) Get off of your asses and RUN! (All three of us run from the rest of the FF9 crew, dodging their attacks along the way.) TM: There was no drama! No emotion! SSJ: Well what do YOU care? You got Tifa AND Garnet! Why should you be complaining? TM: Well, I JUST DO! (SSJ sweatdrops.) SSJ: Well, we still need a ship to escape! (We see the Invincible and the Highwind.) SSJ: I'll take the Highwind! TM: I'll take the Invincible! (TM and SSJ looks at each other.) SSJ: Whatever. TM: Suit yourself. (We board different ships and take off, leaving the FF9 crew behind.) SSJ: Hey, where's Amiko? TM: Where the hell is Amiko? (We look out our windows to see Amiko still running away from the FF9 crew.) SSJ: Whoops. :: Five Minutes Later :: Amiko: SSJ! I can't believe you forgot me! SSJ: Gomen nasai. Amiko: I'm VERY disappointed in you! SSJ: Gomen nasai. Amiko: I *WON'T* forgive you next time! SSJ: Gomen nasai. Amiko: (Calming down) Okay, so NOW can we return to our path? SSJ: We'll need something that can go into space... Like the Outlaw Star or the Ragnarok. Amiko: But they were destroyed. SSJ: Yep. Amiko: Damn. TM: (Through Radio) Well, then I guess we'll have to stay here a while. I don't think the government applies to other planets. Amiko: (Pushing SSJ into controls) Then what are we gonna do while we're here?! SSJ: AMIKO! WE'RE FALLING! Amiko: Oh. (Amiko backs away, and SSJ pulls up to barely dodge the ground.) TM: (Shaking head) Well, we could try and get money for a new ship. Amiko: ...Money? SSJ: Yeah... Maybe we'd have more luck on Terra finding Rantmon. (TM nods.) Amiko: Then let's go! TM: Fine. SSJ: Okay. Amiko: Okay. (Silence spreads.) Amiko: JUST END THE CHAPTER ALREADY! SSJ: Okay. ---- To Be Continued ---- ---- Preview ---- SSJ: Oh no... Filler time. TM: Damn it... We're screwed. Amiko: Filler? DEAR GOD NO... IN A FANFICTION?! SSJ: Witness as NOTHING HAPPENS IN THE ENTIRE CHAPTER! TM: On the next chapter of "Ginga GIRI GIRI!" SSJ: Episode 11! "The Root of all Evil"