Disclaimer: Anime ain't mine. But this fic is. Yeah. Amiko and TM exist in real life. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ginga GIRI GIRI! The Universe is in Danger! Chapter 11 by SSJ Heero ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---- Recap ---- SSJ: Last time, on GINGA GIRI GIRI... Amiko: Stuff happens! We enter the Planet! TM: Met FF7 and FF9 people! SSJ: And now, here we go! Filler time! Amiko: DAMN! NO! ---- Chapter 11: The Root of All Evil ---- [The scene opens in a small town. Houses line the streets, filled with litter and trodden over by cars. Amiko, SSJ, and TM appear over the horizon, and walk through the city gates. SSJ's hair was thin and wiry, pointing up instead of falling down. TM was weary, with the bag of bishie-balls slung over his shoulder. Amiko was straining to walk. TM's eyes narrowed; he threw down his bag in exhaustion and yelled into the air.] TM: DAMN IT! WHY, OF ALL TIMES, MUST THE SHIPS RUN OUT OF FUEL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT?! (Amiko groans.) Amiko: Damn it... What's with our bad luck...? (The three wander through the town. The streets soon become crowded as the three enter the town square. Being nimble and silent, TM quickly snatches the wallets of those wearing the richest suits. He pocketed the wallets and turned to the other two.) TM: Let's go to a motel or something. (The other two nods. They pass a sign, made from wood and hanging from a stake embedded in the ground. It read, "Welcome to Stocks.") *** :: Some Hours Later :: [In the darkness of night, a car runs along the streets of Stocks. Darkness was its cloak as it came to a stop in front of a large concrete building. On the walls, carvings that resembled to word "Bank" was visible in a street lights. As silently as he could, the driver opened the door of his car and stepped out. He was silent as he stepped in front of the bank. From the pockets of his trench coat, he pulled out a key. He quickly unlocked the door, and slid along the wall until he was under a security camera. It automatically turned to his left, and he ran in the opposite direction, and into the power box. With great swiftness, he flipped the switches for all the security devices. The red light on the camera stopped blinking. Whatever lights left in the building shut off, and he was plunged into total darkness. A different light turned on, though, and the man was visible in the light of a flashlight he held in his hand. His dark brown eyes seemed to be black in the lack of light. His hair was covered with a tight cap, hidden from sight. He pulled another thing from his pocket. A black box. With time on his side, he quickly worked the box. He taped it by the door of the vault, layered metal over concrete over more metal. Just a few minutes later, a loud crack filled the air. Not a minute later, the man ran out, bags slung over his shoulder. He ran through a glass window, shattering it instantly. In a flash, he trampled over the grass lawn, and threw the bag into his car. He pushed it aside, and slammed his door shut. Five minutes after, the bank was swarming with police. However, he was already gone without a trace.) *** :: The Next Day :: [The three are at the table of an outdoor restaurant. A newspaper is in the center of the table, shaded by an awning. SSJ and Amiko sit and read the headlines, while TM sits quietly and thinks. SSJ looks up, and then met eyes with Amiko. They then glance towards TM.] SSJ: A bank was robbed, huh? Amiko: So, what? (TM narrows his eyes and snatches the newspaper.) TM: I need a place to store our cash, and that was the place I was planning to deposit. Amiko: Oh... Well, what are we going to do? (There is a silence. A group of people walk by, laughing and yelling over the noise of cars.) TM: Well, let's go to that bank... (The three push back their chairs and walk away from the restaurant. Not much longer, the three reach the crowded bank, swarming with police. The streets were lined with black and white cars, with red and blue sirens sitting atop the roofs. The area was surrounded with the yellow police tape, and a large team of police surveyed the bank for evidence. The three approach the bank, noticing the open window, and skid marks from tires in an adjacent street. They reach the edge of the tape and stood silently. Some distance away, one investigator was examining papers of the little evidence when he notices the three, looking straight into the bank. He turns and walks towards them.) Investigator: May I help you kids? (The three turn and look at the new person. His long brown hair flies about in the wind, with his blue eyes staring straight at the three. His muscular body is covered with an open brown coat, under which there is a blue shirt, tucked into light brown slacks.) TM: Well, we needed to make a deposit... Investigator: Well, the bank is not going to be helping. We hardly have any evidence of from robbery except for the broken window and the skid marks in the street. SSJ: I guess it must be frustrating. Investigator: It is, kid. (The investigator rubs his aching forehead as a voice calls him back. He turns and yells back to the voice, and then speaks to the three.) Investigator: Look, if you three need to find another bank, there is one nearby. It's down the street in that direction- (He pointed to the south.) Investigator: -and a left turn when you're at the second street down. Well, bye. (With that the investigator turns and walks away, and the three look towards the direction he pointed. They then walk together to the other bank in silence.) *** (An hour or two later, the three return to their motel room. SSJ sits in a soft cushioned chair while Amiko falls into her bed. TM stands by the window. He stares out at the city, whose lights were beginning to shine as the sun set. His eyes were stiff as he spoke.) TM: Well... Looks like we're here. Should we leave tomorrow? Or should we stay? (SSJ sighs, and stares at the ceiling.) SSJ: Well... There is no reason to stay- (Amiko interrupts.) Amiko: Hey, TM, how much money did you deposit? (TM is taken aback by the sudden question.) TM: Huh? Well, I deposited about twenty thousand dollars... (SSJ's eyes are narrow as he sarcastically says.) SSJ: So, people carry a lot of money in their pockets now, huh? TM: Heh. Yeah. (TM then drops on his bed, and grabs the TV remote. He presses a button, and a television opposite the bed turns on. A commercial about some kind of lotion is displaying. The screen turns black, and a program shows- the news.) News reporter: Last night, a bank robbery occurred in the First Bank of Stocks. (The three's attention are caught, and SSJ looks up at the reader/viewer. SSJ mutters to himself.) SSJ: My... How convenient. (The news reporter continues.) Reporter: At the scene, the only thing found was chess piece, a knight, and a note in the center of the vault. Police report that only the time and day are written on the note: Midnight, Two days from now. We shall cover more as the story develops. (Another reporter appears on screen.) Another Reporter: Looking for a clean, healthy, alternative food- (The TV turns black, and TM puts down the remote on the counter between his and Amiko's beds. He turns to SSJ.) TM: Are you thinking what I'm thinking? SSJ: ...No. I'm not. And I don't think I want to know... *** :: Ten Hours Later :: [SSJ, TM, and Amiko sit atop the roof of a large building, across the street from the other bank. They sit as low as possible as a cold wind grabs the back of their necks. The three shiver, and SSJ speaks in a low, annoyed tone.] SSJ: Okay, so here we are, out in the freezing cold, for WHAT reason, TM?! TM: Well, we might be able to stop another robbery. Amiko: And, HOW do you know if that report is accurate- (Just then a car stops in front of the dark bank. The three slightly lean over the wall in front of them as they see a figure move out from the car. It is too dark for them to see any features of the man's face, yet they hear him cough. The three stand, and silently run to the corner of the roof. They slide down a fire ladder, and land in an alley. They witness the figure from afar as he unlocks the door.) TM: How can he... Amiko: Did he pick the lock? (Within two minutes, the three watches the man dash inside, and past a wall. They lose sight, and SSJ gets an idea.) SSJ: Hey, Yuffie. (In a flash of red, Yuffie appears beside SSJ, sleepy and groggy. She rubs her eyes as she leans on SSJ.) Yuffie: Yeah? SSJ: Can you hit a tire of that car from here? (Yuffie stops rubbing her eyes, and looks in the direction SSJ points. She drowsily grins.) Yuffie: Yeah. Easy. (With great silence, she chucks several shurikens at the tires of the car. A loud pop is heard, and the four hides behind a brick wall. SSJ pats Yuffie.) SSJ: Thanks. Return. (Yuffie smiles as she turns red again and disappears inside SSJ's pockets. The three wait as they hear loud footsteps. A moment of silence passed, until a soft curse was audible. Amiko leaned over the corner, and gazed in the direction of the car. As time passes, the man eventually reemerges, sacks of money slung over his shoulders. He turns and runs away, abandoning the car, heading away from the three. TM emerges from the corner and yells at the top of his lungs.) TM: STOP! (The figure stops, dropping the bags of money. He turns around, and glares at TM. He speaks in a low voice.) Thief: Well, so it's you who have ruined my plan... (TM is silent as the thief steps toward him. The thief speaks, almost to himself.) Thief: Well, whoever you are, you seem to be pretty smart, figuring out I was gonna strike here... TM: Heh... *** :: Six Hours Before :: (SSJ, Amiko, and TM are sitting around a circular table in their motel room. With a map of Stocks, the three discuss about where the robber will strike next.) Amiko: Now, how do we even know if the robber will strike next?! (However, TM is too busy discussing with SSJ, and Amiko fumes. She grabs TM by the neck and starts chocking him.) Amiko: HEY! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?! HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT THE NOTE WAS TRUE?! HOW CAN YOU TRUST A NEWS REPORT TO GIVE YOU ALL THE FACTS?! (TM was silent.) TM: I'm just guessing. (Amiko sighed, and couldn't help but want to grip around TM's neck. She restrained herself, and sunk in a chair. She looked at the floor as she spoke with an annoyed voice.) Amiko: This is a stupid plan... (TM then turns to SSJ, ignoring Amiko.) TM: Well? Where do you think he might strike again? (SSJ thinks for a while. Then he recalls the chess piece. He points to the location of the robbed bank, and moves several places in the movement of a knight. He finds the other bank to be the location. SSJ and TM realize it at once.) SSJ: Ack... That figured. TM: Yeah. (The two think, and TM speaks.) TM: Hey! We could stop the guy! (Amiko turns to TM.) Amiko: You really think we can?! TM: Well, our bishoujo and bishounen can. (Amiko sighs.) Amiko: Fine... This will absolutely not work, though. *** :: TM and the Thief :: [TM and the thief face off, as SSJ and Amiko hide behind a brick wall in the distance. TM stands, unarmed and unprotected, while the thief drops the bags of money and relaxes. He speaks, eyes closed, as a wind blows around the two.] Thief: You know my game, huh? Well then, here. Catch me tomorrow if you can. (The thief tosses TM a small piece of wood. TM caught the piece and looked at it. It was polished, and in a circular shape with two flat edges opposite each other. A Chinese symbol was written on it. TM looks up, and sees that the man is gone, and sees a sewer cover lifted up and to the side. SSJ and Amiko emerge from their corner while TM dashes to the hole. However, the thief was nowhere to be seen. TM curses, and pushes the sewer cover over the hole. He then turns to SSJ and Amiko.) TM: Damn! He was right there! Amiko: Well, what would you have done? TM: Summon Tifa... Or Garnet... Amiko: ...And that was your plan? TM: It was a good plan! (SSJ interrupts.) SSJ: Hand me that thing he threw to you. (TM and Amiko quiet down, as TM tosses the piece to SSJ. SSJ's eyes widen, as he looks at it.) SSJ: It's a Chinese chess piece... Amiko: You know what it is? SSJ: Yeah. I used to play it some years ago. This is... A canon... TM: A canon? SSJ: Yeah. It moves like a rook, but it captures by hopping over another piece within its movement lines. Amiko: Really... (As the two converse, TM picks up the bags of money and toss it through the window. The window shatters, and the alarm rings loudly through the street. TM turns to the two and yells.) TM: Come on! We gotta go! (The three quickly run away to their apartment, hiding from the spotlights of the police cars.) *** :: The Next Day :: [The three are bent over the map in their motel room again. SSJ and TM look at the map. The first two robbed banks are crossed off, and Amiko struggles to think. The room is musty and stuffy as the three think. Amiko opens a window and a light breeze enters. She begins.] Amiko: How did the piece move again? (SSJ places the Chinese chess piece on the second bank. He explains.) SSJ: The canon moves like a rook. It can travel left, right, forward, or backwards as far as it likes. (The other two nod in apprehension.) SSJ: However, it captures by hopping over another piece. TM: ...What does that mean? (SSJ sighs, and demonstrates.) SSJ: It means, in order to capture a piece, there has to be another piece between it and that piece. It captures differently than it moves. Amiko: Oh... That's it. (The three quickly find four banks that are in the position described. Other banks lie between the four banks and the second attempted robbery. The three curse.) TM: This is harder than I thought... Amiko: Four possible banks?! SSJ: Damn... TM: Which one is right?! *** :: Meanwhile, at the Second Bank :: [The police swarm the bank, with yellow tape surrounding the area. Police check all the evidence, including the abandoned car, with the shurikens still embedded in the wheel. The inspector stands by the car, with a cop standing right next to him.] Cop: It seems like we got help, eh, Jarrett? (Jarrett is silent, and leans over to inspect the shurikens. They went clear through the rubber wheels, and tore into the metal behind it.) Jarrett: Indeed... (Jarrett stands and looks around at the half-wits trying to find any evidence at all.) Jarrett: But who could have been helping us? (Several hours later, Jarrett pulls into the driveway of his apartment complex. He steps from his car, and notices a notice attached to his mailbox, which was just under an awning. He walks over to it and picks up the note.) Jarrett: Another robbery...?! Is this real?! *** :: SSJ and Co. :: [SSJ and company are waiting in the alley across the street from a bank. It was dark, save for the dim lights of the street. SSJ, Amiko, and TM sit on the ground, wearing thick cloaks to drive away the cold. The three are silent, but finally, a car appears. And again, the thief steps out. He thinks to himself.] Thief: Heh... They would never figure this out... (The thief strides through the concrete walkway, and steps up to the glass and metal door of the bank: the Fidelity Federal Bank. He pulled out his key, and unlocked the door. He walked inside, ignoring the three peeking around the corner where they hid. TM speaks.) TM: Okay, let's go. SSJ: Good thing that detective found our note. Amiko: Yeah. We actually have help... TM: Come on out, Tifa. (Tifa appears by TM, restraining herself not to jump on him and keeps quiet. Tm plays close attention to her two "assets" as the three continue.) SSJ: Let's go, Catherine. (Catherine appears by SSJ, and Yuffie angrily materializes between the two. Yuffie quietly argues.) Yuffie: Now, WHY did you choose to summon THIS weak knife thrower? SSJ: 'Cause you're tired. Yuffie: WHAT?! I'm not... The least... Bit... Tired... (Yuffie then falls forward. SSJ catches her and returns her to her ball, sighs, then continues. Amiko then finally summons Zidane. The rest of her bishounen followed suit.) Amiko: ...This is why I shouldn't be so damn sexy. (TM and SSJ facefault, and quickly get up as the bishounen began to bicker amongst themselves. Amiko quickly quieted them, and the group reached the door of the bank. TM calls into the bank.) TM: COME OUT! AT ONCE! (There is a loud crash in the bank, and money spills from the open vault door. No one moves. The room becomes silent. SSJ mutters to Catherine.) SSJ: Can you hit the light switch from here? (Catherine squints, and sees a small room opposite of them. The electricity box lies inside.) Catherine: Yeah. (Then, Catherine pulls her knives from her belt, and chucks one at the electricity box. With great accuracy, it hits the light switch lightly, and flips it up. Light suddenly floods the bank, catching the group and the thief off guard for a moment. The group quickly run and surround the vault, and look inside. The thief is nowhere to be seen.) SSJ: WHAT THE FUCK?! Amiko: Where the Hell did he go?! TM: Damn it! (The three run into the vault, and look around for an exit. The bishounen and bishoujo follow, searching for any escape route at all. They find none, and are baffled by the man's disappearance. The group stood in the far end of the vault, and before they could react, a smaller vault door opens, and the thief leaps out of it. He quickly runs out of the vault, and shuts the door and turns to lock before the group could run out. He then laughed, but the three and their bishounen and bishoujo were unable to hear through the thick walls. They bang and claw at the walls, but fail to shove it open. They all curse, but still, no one heard their screams.) Thief: Heh. Stay in there for a while. (The thief strides out of the bank and to his car. He thinks to himself as he opens the door and sits in the driver's seat.) Thief: (thinking) Oh well... At least I'll have the cops off my tail for a while. (The thief pulls out his keys, and inserts one into the ignition. He turns the key, and prepares to ride away.) Thief: Well, off to home. (The thief waits, with his keys turned. The car sputters, but refuses to start. He turns it once more, yet it still refuses to start. He curses, wondering what was wrong with his car. He stepped out of his car.) Thief: Fuck... Another piece of evidence for them... (He kicked up the hood of the car, and looked inside. He searched for the engine to inspect it, but was unable to... ...for there was no engine. It was completely torn out, and he heard a loud creaking sound. He turned, and saw the engine, hanging from a tree. It swung and twisted on its rope, and the thief yelled indignantly.) Thief: The Hell?! (A voice calls behind from behind him.) Voice: So, looks like we finally caught you. (The thief turns around to see the detective, David Jarrett, behind him, standing with hands in his pockets.) Jarrett: You are under arrest for grand theft, and arson as well. (The thief steps back, and turns to run, but only meet the simultaneous flashing of several car headlights. He turns back to Jarrett, who stands, smiling. The thief is then handcuffed, and is shoved toward a police car. Then, a hole appears in the ground, and SSJ, Amiko, and TM, as well as their bishounen and bishoujo, emerge from the hole. Everyone is taken aback by their sudden entrance.) Jarrett: How the Hell- Thief: -Did you three appear?! SSJ: Plot hole. No need to explain. (SSJ turns to Jarrett.) SSJ: Okay, there's your guy... (TM interrupts.) TM: DO WE GET ANY BOUNTY OR SOMETHING?! (Jarrett smiles and laughs.) Jarrett: Well, here's ten grand. That's enough for your work? (TM sighs at the small amount, for he has stolen much more before, but still pockets the wad of cash.) Jarrett: Oh, by the by, how did you know he would come here? (SSJ explains, pulling out the Chinese Chess piece.) SSJ: Well, he left a knight the first place he thieved when we came. When we met him at his second bank, he left us this Chinese Chess piece: the canon. (Jarrett nodded as SSJ continued.) SSJ: I know how it moved and captured, but there was four banks situated in position from the second bank, with another bank in between the two. TM: It seemed nearly impossible then, because they were far away, and it would be hard to stop him if we split. SSJ: So then we just rolled a dice, and this one came up. (Jarrett, the thief, and various other policemen facefaulted.) Thief: YOU USED LUCK TO FOIL MY BRILLIANT PUZZLE?! TM: Yeah. And it looks like luck was on our side. (Amiko finally speaks, after being silent for a long time.) Amiko: I hate to admit it, but they succeeded. Damn luck. Thief: AND I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT, TOO! IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU MEDDLING KIDS! (The thief is then carried away in the car, and the three walk away from the crowd, but not without one of the policemen recognizing the faces of the three.) Cop: HEY! THEY'RE WANTED ON TERRA! THEY'RE BOUNTY IS SEVERAL BILLION! (The three stop in their tracks.) All three: Eep. (The cops, including Jarrett, dash over to stop the three, but the various bishounen and bishoujo fend them off. Quickly, the bishounen and bishoujo disappear into the three's pockets, and the three run into a black plot hole. It closed, leaving Jarrett and his crew cursing. And during the fray, the thief managed to escape. Jarrett cursed a louder one this time, sighing at his luck.) *** :: The Next Day :: [SSJ, Amiko, and TM wander through the forests. Various trees and thickets surround the three, but they followed a dirt path, and eventually find a small hot spring manor. Amiko squeals in joy, as TM and SSJ sigh.] Amiko: Yes! Hot springs! We haven't been to one in a long time! SSJ: We were in one last chapter... Amiko: Yeah, but it was not shown! SSJ: ...Whatever. (A few minutes later, SSJ, TM, and all of Amiko's bishounen are soaking in the wide, male hot springs. A thin bamboo wall separates them from the women's hot spring, where Amiko and SSJ's and TM's bishoujo bask.) SSJ: Damn... This is quite refreshing... TM: Yeah. Especially after all that thieving and such. (SSJ sighs, then yells across the bamboo wall.) SSJ: This has been a fun adventure, huh, Amiko-chan? Amiko: I know. It hasn't been that bad after all... (And then, the bishounen of Amiko begin to bicker yet again. SSJ, Amiko, and TM sigh.) Squall: Shut up, you spikey-assed wimp! Cloud: I wouldn't be talking, you haven't even gone through puberty, yet! Kamui: Will you two shut the Hell up?! You make even a trip to the hot springs bitter. (Then, all the bishounen became involved, before Amiko forced them to return to their bishie-balls. They turned red, and disappeared into Amiko's clothes, folded beside the hot springs.) *** :: Some Hours Later :: (SSJ, Amiko, and TM began to journey through the forests again. They push down various plants as they tread through. They walked around various trees as they made their way onto a dirt path once more. They looked around, and saw a small noodle shop. Someone steps from the shop, and the three immediately recognize him.) SSJ: HEY! TM: It's Saotome... Amiko: RANMA! (Ranma, (un)fortunately for him, hears the calls, and look behind him to see the three.) Ranma: Do I know you three? (Amiko runs after Ranma, leaving SSJ and TM in the dust. Ranma jumps back, and runs away from Amiko.) Ranma: GREAT! FANGIRLS! Why do I have to be so sexy?! (SSJ and TM facefault.) SSJ: Everyone always thinks highly of themselves. TM: Well, you're the same. (SSJ is silent as he picks himself off the ground. He looks at Amiko, who is already a mile ahead, chasing after Ranma. TM and SSJ quickly run after her.) ---- To Be Continued --- [Scenes from the next episode are shown in the background, and chibi characters are shown in the foreground...but you can't see because this is text. XD) SSJ: Hey! Here we are! Filler's over! Amiko: YES! THANK GOD! TM: And now, it looks like we have another bishounen. SSJ: Wackiness abound! Amiko: And some CRAZY plot twist or something. TM: NEXT! On GINGA GIRI GIRI! All three: "Jusenkyou! Oh no!" Gene: (from out of nowhere) You better get ready!